The 3 Most Important Factors of Resilience

Resilience

1) the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties or toughness

2) the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape

Everybody faces challenges in their lives from time to time. The stress can be external or internal. Disappointments caused by factors beyond your control or initiated from your own actions or inactions. Either way, having resilience is crucial for growth.

After putting some thought into what gives people the inner toughness to overcome adversity I’ve come up with three factors that are (in my mind) the most important.

1. Know what your values are. And by values I mean take the time to connect to yourself. Ask yourself how do I want to feel? Am I being authentic and living the life I want? Are my goals inline with my values and how you want to feel? Having a clear vision of how you want to feel crucial in bouncing back.
2. The Ability to Pivot. Knowing your values helps you to determine where you want to go. Sometimes setbacks mean you have to work harder. Other times when things don’t go as planned it may mean that you must be courageous, adapt and change course quickly.
3. Practice Gratitude. It is easy to be thankful when things are going well. It takes more effort to find gratitude when life falls to shit. But it’s when you are in the middle of a shit storm that the act of gratitude is most necessary. If your having a hard time being grateful, look for the lessons. Consider the mistakes, the mistreatments and failures but don’t dwell there. Anger, embarrassment and regret will not move you forward. Acknowledge your strength, courage and grit. Focus on what remains and not what you lost. Every experience both good and bad is shaping you into the most authentic version of yourself.

The funniest story I know of resilience is of my husband’s grandmother. As a girl her family took her to a farm. Gramma was hopeful that she would be able to ride one of the farmers horses.

Unfortunately for Gramma the horse wasn’t available but the farmer offered her a chance to ride a cow. I don’t know about you but I didn’t know that cows would let you ride on their back. Courageously she quickly shifted her plan and rode the cow.

Gramma knew she that what she Valued most was the adventure. She didn’t get stuck in the disappointment of not being able to do what she had originally planned. Gramma was just Grateful, and Adapted to the situation and change her goals.

And yes I know the above example is somewhat trivial. Adversity can wear much darker masks: divorce, job loss, cancer and death. Life changing tragedies happen. Resilience is what gives you the strength to get through them.