Author: trishbry

There is nothing more beautiful than someone who has discovered their own worth.

This quote is beautifully simple and true. But simple and true doesn’t equal easy.

Even those of us who have embraced the “I am Enough” movement struggle. The struggle is not about the truth of our worth. One of the best parts of middle age is that we know that we are worthy: worthy regardless of weight, age, social class, marital status or followers. We have a strong sense of who we are at our best and the parts of ourselves that need us to be our own best friends.

The struggle isn’t in the belief that we are enough. Our struggle is in our actions; our worthiness gets lost in the hustle of our everyday lives. In order to be the best version of ourselves we have to make ourselves a priority.

Self care is not selfish. Self care is wellness. In order to be healthy – mind, body and soul we have to be aware of what elements make us whole.

Physical

Taking care of our physical self means being in tune to our bodies. This Is especially important as we blossom into middle age because our bodies are less forgiving of bad habits. Loving ourselves means giving our bodies the best fuel, rest and play possible. Taking care of our physical selves also means taking care of our safety and security. Our homes and finances are an extension of our physical self care. Ways to take care of our physical selves include, sleeping, exercising, having a healthy sex life and keeping regular doctors appointments.

Mental

How would you rate your mental health? Even if you don’t suffer from depression or anxiety, I bet that for most of us there is room for improvement. Self discovery and reflection can be in the form of meditation, journaling or therapy. But don’t underestimate the power of gardening or a walk in the woods for its benefits to mental health.

Emotional

Emotional self care is how we feel about ourselves and the world around us. Children are great at expressing their emotions. They laugh, cry and love without insecurities. As adults we have learned that healthy emotions require responsibility. The trick to emotional self care is honouring the emotions of our inner child while being respectful of how we act out our emotions. Flirting, forgiving, laughing, crying are all ways of expressing emotions. Cuddling a pet, watching a comedy or picking out the perfect present for ourselves are ways to practice emotional self care.

Personal

Personal self care refers to how we connect with ourselves and with others. It’s hard (if not almost impossible) to have positive relationships if you don’t have one with yourself. Personal self care means learning who you are as well as exploring and knowing what you value. It means being open and vulnerable but having an ability to put boundaries in place. Once you know yourself and what you value it makes the connections crystal clear. You begin to only accept respect from yourself and from others. Treating ourselves to a girls night out, a date night with our partners or enjoying our own company during a solo lunch are all ways to take care of our personal and interpersonal relationships.

Spiritual

Spiritual self care is about our connection to a greater power. This greater power has many different names, and is practiced by as many different religions. Regardless of our unique spiritual beliefs, nurturing our higher selves is an essential component in worthiness. Seeing ourselves as worthy as the trees, oceans and air is incredibly empowering. Healthy spiritual self care brings peace and harmony to the soul. Praying, meditating in a candle lit bubble bath, or laying on the grass and gazing at the shape of the clouds are all ways to take care of our spiritual selves.

At midlife we have accomplished so much. Our tribes are rich. We easily cheer for and celebrate our family and friends. We have the maturity and wisdom to know we are worthy. Knowing the keys to self care is essential to wholistic wellness.

What ways do you show yourself self care? Do you put your self care into your planner? Would you say that there are other aspects of self care that I left of the list. I would love to hear what you think. Comment below.

Xo

Trish

Resilience

1) the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties or toughness

2) the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape

Everybody faces challenges in their lives from time to time. The stress can be external or internal. Disappointments caused by factors beyond your control or initiated from your own actions or inactions. Either way, having resilience is crucial for growth.

After putting some thought into what gives people the inner toughness to overcome adversity I’ve come up with three factors that are (in my mind) the most important.

1. Know what your values are. And by values I mean take the time to connect to yourself. Ask yourself how do I want to feel? Am I being authentic and living the life I want? Are my goals inline with my values and how you want to feel? Having a clear vision of how you want to feel crucial in bouncing back.
2. The Ability to Pivot. Knowing your values helps you to determine where you want to go. Sometimes setbacks mean you have to work harder. Other times when things don’t go as planned it may mean that you must be courageous, adapt and change course quickly.
3. Practice Gratitude. It is easy to be thankful when things are going well. It takes more effort to find gratitude when life falls to shit. But it’s when you are in the middle of a shit storm that the act of gratitude is most necessary. If your having a hard time being grateful, look for the lessons. Consider the mistakes, the mistreatments and failures but don’t dwell there. Anger, embarrassment and regret will not move you forward. Acknowledge your strength, courage and grit. Focus on what remains and not what you lost. Every experience both good and bad is shaping you into the most authentic version of yourself.

The funniest story I know of resilience is of my husband’s grandmother. As a girl her family took her to a farm. Gramma was hopeful that she would be able to ride one of the farmers horses.

Unfortunately for Gramma the horse wasn’t available but the farmer offered her a chance to ride a cow. I don’t know about you but I didn’t know that cows would let you ride on their back. Courageously she quickly shifted her plan and rode the cow.

Gramma knew she that what she Valued most was the adventure. She didn’t get stuck in the disappointment of not being able to do what she had originally planned. Gramma was just Grateful, and Adapted to the situation and change her goals.

And yes I know the above example is somewhat trivial. Adversity can wear much darker masks: divorce, job loss, cancer and death. Life changing tragedies happen. Resilience is what gives you the strength to get through them.

Its only been a month since we got back from our family vacation to Cuba, but it feels like much longer. So when John asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday this year I knew that a night away was the best way to celebrate.

I looked into the different options available to us for our mini get away: A cabin in Muskoka was too far, Niagara Falls wasn’t the vibe I was going for and Toronto was both pricey and too close to Johns work. I wanted to feel both relaxed and refreshed so I chose our happy place – Woodstock.

If anyone would have told me five years ago that I would be spending my vacation time in Woodstock Ontario I would have told them they were crazy. But that was before we bought a trailer and parked it at Pittock Conservation area. The park is an easy and scenic hour from our home. Just the drive out of the GTA, lowers my blood pressure and causes me to breathe easier.

In just over a month camping season will begin again. But for my birthday weekend I booked us into the Best Western via the Expedia website.

Out first stop when we arrived in Woodstock was to Pittock. The park is closed to traffic for the winter but we were able to park and walk down to our site. It was the perfect day for an early spring walk. The temperature was cool, but as we hiked the bright sun and conversation kept us warm.

Next we checked into the Best Western . I was a little concerned when I saw that the hotel was full of families who were in town for a hockey tournament. It was all good though. Everyone was very respectful. The hotel was very clean and nicely decorated. A nice feature of our room was the window sunny window seat. The staff was also amazing. The woman who checked us in was both friendly and efficient. I felt very welcomed.

After we freshened up we went out for some dinner. The restaurant was just up the street from The Record Works. A great shop with new, used and collectable vinyl. I was able to get my hands on a live Neil Diamond record that I love listening to at a friends place.

The rest of our evening was spent back at the hotel. My husband always makes me feel loved and special. When we get the rare opportunity to slow down and focus on only each other we both feel truly grateful and blessed for the life we have created. As teenagers falling in love for the first time, neither one of us could have predicted what our relationship would have grown into.

On Sunday morning we packed our overnight bags. For years now we have talked about going to the Woodstock Antique Mall and decided that it was time we actually made the visit. The place is huge! Three floors of antique and maker booths to browse. So many neat things, but as an ongoing commitment to making my home a place to rest, I didn’t buy anything for myself. ( I may have found a gift or two though!)

It’s amazing what one night away can do for your soul. Life has been pretty demanding of us lately. This one night away has made me feel revitalized, and excited to make my next trip around the sun. Cheers to 45 years

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton